Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
