I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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