just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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