Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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