Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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