omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize