Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize