You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
