we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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