mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want to make out with him forever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
