he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
