We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
