carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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