her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
