i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
