Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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