we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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