You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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