Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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