It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
