Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
