you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
one might say we're banned from that church
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
