What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
