New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
