So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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