Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
