yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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