if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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