Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize