Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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