dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
