If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
