when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
