I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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