i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
