Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
