we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
