yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
