i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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