There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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