Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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