he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
