The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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