So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize