Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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