Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
