I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize