How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize