White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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