Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
