I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
