So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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