can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
