I got chris browned last night
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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