I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How naked do you want me to be?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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