Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

life is too short to starve

(678): View more from Georgia

life is also too short to be fat

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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(219): View more from Indiana

rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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(573): View more from Missouri

Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday

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(778): View more from British Columbia

working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

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(212): View more from New York

When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.

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