so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
