does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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