btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
