you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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