I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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