gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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