your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
