i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize