its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
