Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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