u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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