Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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