you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
