I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
