singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
