if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
