I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize